Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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