fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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