he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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