he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
