I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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