I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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