Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
