i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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