who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
