It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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