im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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