Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
