i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
