you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
