I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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