I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
