Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
