I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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