Will you blow on my dice?
i barfeds in our rink
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
