i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
