i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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