but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
