I smell stomach acid.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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