I'm gonna have a badass scar
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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