belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everyone says I win the strip club
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
