I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
