Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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