you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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