so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
