my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
