is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
