Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
