Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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