I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
