Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
