careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
