Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
