We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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