Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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