She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
