it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
