u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
