Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
