Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Houston, we have a squirter
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
