I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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