I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize