Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
