Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
