Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
