it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
