So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
