It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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