Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
