Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
