Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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